Planning Parties and the Pitfalls of Presumption

Arwen, my daughter, plays violin. Harmony in an orchestra... no other language can quite explain peace and order in such an expressive way.

I have finally managed to pen down a few practical tips regarding planning parties or events. But so often, these can become a list of do's and dont's without an understanding of the heart behind it. 

I have recently had the privilege to listen to George Georgiou, pastor of Father's House Church in Port Elizabeth, share on the prophetic and practice. God gives us a word; we need to implement strategy. So, my previous post was all about strategy and practicalities... let me share where these originate from: scripture aka God's infallible Word.

Why God's Word? Well, I absolutely LOVE God's Word and yes, I am convinced (like in totally and utterly) that God's Word has an opinion on EVERYTHING! 

2 Ti 3:16-17  All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete (lacking nothing), equipped for every good work. 

And God's opinion is the best. Every word of God is TRUE and GOOD. 

Pro_30:5  Every word of God proves true

Heb 6:5  and have tasted the goodness of the word of God...

Why is it important not to overdo parties? Why is it important to consider finances, my own physical and emotional capacity, my family and husband?

What is the big deal anyways? Is it really so wrong to spend two weeks' family time in the evening to prepare and make things for the party? I mean, my husband should understand... it is for OUR child, for goodness' sake! Besides, I am saving us a ton of money by making and baking everything. He should be thankful. And yes, I LIKE baking up a storm and cleaning and being in a constant state of irritation and frustration. This is me doing what I enjoy. So, back off!

Oh boy. 

Too often, I fall into the sin of presumption. 

Psa 19:13  Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins...

Presumption is defined as taking upon oneself more than is warranted *Yikes!*. It is the failure to observe the limits of what is permitted or appropriate. It carries with it a tone of arrogance, egotism, brazenness.

Brazenness- loud, harsh, resonant sound.

Presumption is the nemesis of harmony. When we act presumptuous, we mess with the harmonious rhythm in our lives as individuals and as a family (and even, as part of a local church community). We become like the clanging symbal that the scripture talks about in Corinthians.

1Co 13:1-2  If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And If I work my butt off and organize the perfect party as I envisioned, but have lost the luv, I am achieving nothing.

Ouch.

Psa 19:13  Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression (rebellion). 

I like Peter Scazzeros' definition of rebellion in his book, The Emotionally Healthy Leader, rebellion is the refusal to stop and accept God's rhythm and His boundaries. 

Okay Liezl, so how do I know what my boundaries are?

A good place to start is to ask your husband. He knows you better than anyone else. 

And often, for me, I feel the Holy Spirit's nudging and concern. And when I choose to ignore Him, when I am pushing myself in the red, I  justify my actions by blaming everyone else and everything else. And harmony goes out the door.

You know what Liezl, I think I have been living without boundaries for so long- ignoring the Holy Spirit- that I am not sure where to start. How can I put boundaries in my life?

I really love the advice Kay Warren gave in an interview with Outreach Magazine: 'Divert daily. Withdraw Weekly. Abandon Annually. Take some time every day to replenish your soul, you take a day off every week, and you take a vacation every year.' 

Get into God's Word, get rustig*, get to enjoy hanging around your kids and husband, doing nothing in particular.

Switch off your phone.

For me, I have to be intentional about making our evenings family time. When I neglect to do this, everything (and everyone) starts to feel disconnected and scratchy, like a vinyl record that got stuck. And that is not a nice sound.

Switch off your phone, Liezl!

I have also found that after 30, my physical capacity has decreased a lot! I used to be able to take over the world in my 20s, with time to spare, but from 30 onwards... well, lets just say I need to limit myself a lot more. A lot... *sob* There is a scripture that says we should flee youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace (2 Tim 2:22). And for me, it is referring to this exact thing of presumption. Liezl, stop trying to do what you did when you were younger, stop thinking your are Mrs Invincible Supermom, stop acting like you can do it all.... you really don't have the time or energy. When we pursue youthful passions, we are being presumptuous and possibly living in denial (of how desperately we are dependent on the Holy Spirit, rather than the independent non-stop machine mothers we think we are). Know your limits and pursue the things that really matter and that lead to harmony.

Col 3:12  Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts...Col 3:14  And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 

*rustig: calm, quiet, contemplative, relaxed, peaceful