Birthday Bash

Happy connectedness to me!

It's google's 19th birthday today. Congratulations! 19 years ago I was in grade 11 and got my first desktop computer. A rather smart thing for a kid to have back then. So while google celebrates its 19th year, I too, celebrate 19 years of computer connectedness. Cheers! 

Actually, any reason to celebrate is a good reason. It gets us to stop and reflect and be grateful (and yes, enjoying the accompanying guilt-free coffee and cake for breakfast is absolute bliss.)

Birthday parties are celebratory moments where we press pause on our usual routine and honour a special person in our lives. Birthday parties are important and we should make an effort to celebrate our kids' birthdays. BUT, we can get over-involved, over-indulgent, and over the top (OTT)!

And perhaps, our computer connectedness is partly to blame for this... but 19 years plus proves that technology and the internet is not going to go away soon, so we might need to adjust and review the part we play in planning OTT parties.

I actually wrote a little piece on parties nearly two years ago(!!) and have never gotten round to post it. So, without further ado, herewith a very late but still very valid post. I hope it helps, with much love...

We have a tradition of waking the birthday girl or boy with singing, something sweet & candles and their gifts. The whole family participates in this delightful ritual. Be sure to implement fun traditions that your kids will remember fondly. 

Last week while workout walking, my friend and I noticed that the fig tree next to the road was full of green figs. We decided to stop (and rest) and pick some figs.

Our green fig bounty coincided nicely with my son's birthday party.

Nothing beats home made green fig preserve... It is a real winner at any kind of party and can be served as an accompaniment to a variety of food.

I've never mentioned any of the kiddies parties that I've been doing and the main reason is that there are plenty of amazing sites that provide more than enough coverage on the topic. But I thought it might be a good idea to post my tips and experience- to serve as a reminder for myself first and foremost. Because, yes, I've had many birthday blunders and have gone round the mountain more than a few times. :-)

Speaking of mountains... Warren wanted a dinosaur party, and what 'evolved' from that idea was an erupting volcano cake. Dillan, his younger brother was so impressed with it that it became his theme too. It is amazing how kids love their birthday cake. Rather spend less on other sweets and more on their cake. And yes, they stuck their fingers into everything. Those are the best cakes in my opinion.

How to host a kiddies party

The Theme & The Dream

Kids love themes. Let them choose a theme. The theme helps to narrow things down a lot. However, if your kids are like mine, the theme might change a few times, even after the invites have been sent out. I have never backed away from a challenge, and why can't they have a Shrek and Iron Man and Horse party at the same time? Or Why can't you surprise the guests with a totally different theme?! There are always a creative way to do it. But not everyone are creative geniuses. Know your weaknesses. :)

Oh, and it's worth mentioning that your child might choose a theme that you are not too fond of. My son has never watched a transformer movie in his life, but that's the theme he chose!

Once I know the theme (or themes) for the party, I collect ideas. Pinterest is a great site for many many MANY fantastic ideas. Be aware though, that collecting ideas are based on the ideal- the dream party.

Now, you need to get to the real. Reality.

Meaning: SIMPLIFY

The reality is that every party has three goals:

1. To make the birthday boy or girl feel super special and LOVED.
2. To stick to your budget!! (Make the sums. And make them well. Know what you have to work with and what your max is.)
3. Not to go insane in the process (or loose your cool). *Very important

These goals are at enmity with each other; what the experts call “opportunity costs”. It is what makes party planning such a prolific topic. Fantastic.

But don't loose hope yet. There are many positives to this too. Like the sense of achieving the impossible. 

Okay, so...

Keep it simple: special, sums, sane 

(you might need to repeat that a few times for it to sink in. Or, if you are like me, chant it over and over while planning the party.)

Two friends, Ten Pin Bowling... simple and do-able. (This was at Menlyn Mall.)

Arwen's Toothless birthday party. Yes, I did make the cake. But that was a long time ago and I was semi-crazy. If you love it, do it... but don't feel that you must. A plastic toothless on top of a chocolate iced sponge bought cake works just as well. And yes, that is an upside down cake pan for the cake stand. Improvise.

And now, a few more tips: The three P's

Be Present:that's the greatest present, so get a relative or friend to snap away with the cameras, and to help host if the parents are invited. I never fully understood why moms would rather hire an entertainer and host the parents. Rather hire a host and entertain the kids! Our lives are so busy and normal routines do not allow much time for making a huge fuss and spending a lot of time with one child (let alone our kids!). If you are not good at that kind of thing, then get good at it. (Or get your husband to do it, at least!). 

Plan ahead:Obviously, Liezl. I mean, plan for a 'plan B'... If all else fails, always have a few games planned. Kids love competing. Especially if there is a prize (it does not have to be something big.) Minute to win it games are great. Each kid gets a minute to get as much or whatever... allowing them to go one by one passes a lot of time. And they love cheering each other on. One game can take up to 20 minutes!

Note: the smaller the kids, the smaller their understanding of only one winner. Make sure to have “winner” gifts for all the kids if they are still at that age. And need I say: age- appropriate games...

Have Party Packs:Kids love ownership. It creates a sense of security and also belonging. Party packs is a way to make every child feel special. I have found that party packs also help limit the amount of sweets that kids eat at parties. So, don't do party packs AND stacks of other sweets/ chip bowls/ rubbish snacks/ cupcakes. The party pack can have typical party snacks in it like a packet of jelly tots, a chomp, pack of chips and a juice (plus a little gift or even just a balloon that they can blow up but remember it's not suitable for small children). Rather have a healthy platter with cut up melon, oranges, carrots and other veggies with dips and ice cold water on tap as extra snacks/ drinks.

Some of the best parties were very simple (and economical): taking a few friends for pizza and slush puppies. There are restaurants who allow you to take your own cake without any cover charge. In our previous neighbourhood, there was a great family restaurant, Papachinos, where we had a few such parties.

Final thoughts

Lastly, it's just a party. Relax. It is not a wedding. And no, it's not the end of the world, either. Breathe. 

You do not need to invite the whole class or neighbourhood. A friend's advice to me when my kids were young and advice that I found very helpful is to allow your child as many friends as their age. In other words, when they turn four, they can invite four friends. And by the time your child is in their teens, large parties are uncool anyways. What a relief!

And in the event that things do not go according to plan, be willing to make the changes! I know a mom who was going through a tough time emotionally and financially (we all have those unexpected, unplanned happenings) and instead of cancelling the party, she went ahead with it although it caused her more grief than joy. A party is not worth losing your sanity over. Keep it simple and cancel if you have to.

Who said that you cannot cancel/postpone a party?! You can.

Arwen's 12th Birthday party: Minute to Win it. The party packs were: rolo, cupcake, pringles chips, coke. And instead of in a pack/ bucket, it was placed in a golden paper plate.

An opportunity to teach

Parties are a great opportunity to teach. A party is not a "It's-my-party-so-I'll- get-away-with-everything" moment. Some of my toughest and most embarrassing mothering moments were at my kids' birthday parties. 

But it afforded me the opportunity to teach my kids:

• being grateful for what you get
• sharing
• not comparing.

I have spent many birthday parties with a birthday boy/ girl who was unhappy about their gifts and made a public spectacle because of it and also, unhappy that their friends (who they invited) was getting party packs and playing with THEIR toys!! 

Instead of fun and laughter, it was all tears and tantrums. Far from the pretty picture I envisioned it to be. 

Store bought cake... with smarties, strawberries and chocolate. Unfortunately, it was a tiramisu cake, seeping with alcohol. What kind of a mother am I?!  Fortunately, there was a few parents that gladly offered their help in not allowing the cake to go to waste. Unfortunately, like many store bought cakes, it tasted terrible!!

My daughter did not want a sponge cake, so instead I saw this tiramisu cake (ahh it was so cheap!) at a store and bought it. Forgetting that the finger biscuits are soaked in alcohol!! Eek! So, the girls could not eat any of it. Talk about blunders...

Minute to Win it Party

But now, my daughter recently had her 12^th birthday and she was content and grateful for what she got. And if you attended one of her parties as a toddler, you would know that she would never have chosen to be content and grateful if it was not for 11 years of party training ;-) 

Do not give up. Don't go for perfect. We need to be ok with real and not ideal. We model our own contentedness and gratefulness to our kids through this. AND that mom will not allow the trivial things to take over... because of loving harmony; PEACE - the umpire of our hearts. (Col 3:14-15) 

*still workin' on this me self, if you was wonderin'

Far more than having a multi-million bucks perfect party, the opportunity it affords us to build into our kids' character (and our own) and to make them know that they are loved, is priceless. 

Far more than remembering the ABC's or the S's or the P's or the XYZ's...or any other letter of the alphabet for planning parties: have fun and enjoy the privilege of being a mom to someone special. You rock their world!

Some birthdays, I can take on the world and then do it. But others... I don't even try! It is important to discern the season and situation that your are in as a family and as a mom- what is your capacity like? Where are your finances at? Have you discussed your ideas with your husband- and what was his advice?

p.s. The green fig preserve was used as a topping on bruschetta bites for the moms. 

Bruschetta: Tomato and Basil; Green Fig and Cheddar; Onion marmelade and Cheddar.