Helicopter Parenting

Our kids are not hand puppets (although that would've been so much easier!). Warren with his hand puppet that we made together. He molded the head by gluing paper strips and I made the body by gluing material (because I am such a great seamstress. Not).

Helicopter Parent. The first time I heard of this term, I envisioned myself hovering above my kids like the fat little fairy godmothers buzzing around Aurora, the princess in Sleeping Beauty. The only difference being that my wings looked more like grotesque helicopter killer blades than the dainty translucent ones that fairies have.

And my response: "Jup, that's so me!"

However, as the definition was explained to me, I was relieved. I am not a helicopter parent. Phew, I managed to dodge that label, or did I?

Helicopter parenting is all about protecting your child, from kindergarten to varsity. It is about fighting for your child's future as YOU foresee it and although it has less to do with physical protection, it is the result of an increased perception* of child endangerment by parents. 

(*Thanks to the media. Did kids really get less hurt in the past? Of course not. It just took three months by horseback to deliver a letter informing the extended family that Johnny broke his arm and lost his toe.)

But, that is not so bad, is it? Wanting to protect our children is part of our responsibility? 

And yes, protecting our kids is our responsibility.

But here's the cruncher: helicopter parenting is not a responsibility thing, but rather a control and fear of the future thing. It is more about intervening on behalf of the child when they are actually at an age to intervene for themselves. It has very little to do with a four year old playing in a public park with parental supervision, but more to do with a four year old arguing with another four year old and mommy taking her child's side instead of teaching her four year old the value of sharing and caring. It is the notion of "being god" in our children's lives.

And that is the thing. Call it by whatever name, but the moment we believe that we are the ones holding our child's future in our hands, we have stepped over to the "dark side".  Believing we can control "the force" is a bad place to be. Think Darth Vader. (And before you think I am going crazy, it is just an analogy from the movie, Star Wars. I added a little Star Wars, while we war for our little stars *wink  wink nudge nudge*).

The term "helicopter parent" has sadly done nothing more than give parents a mudslinging name to call others (and I too, am guilty of pointing fingers). Yet, I know for sure that I have a tendency toward wanting to play god in my kids' lives. (yikes!) And so, I have to constantly examine my real - intentions - for - interventions. 


I desperately need to stay on the light side of life, but, like Spurgeon says: "Truth, holiness, joy, knowledge, love, these are all beams of the sacred light, but we cannot give them forth unless in private we receive oil from God". 

"My soul, how much thou needest this,

 for thy lamp will not long continue to burn without it"