The Date Night Dilemma

"Hi Hon! How was your day?" He says as he enters the kitchen where I am frantically willing the water to boil for our pasta dish tonight. Dinner prep is already half hour behind schedule.

I shoot back a semi decent reply without taking my eyes off the pot filled with not-yet boiling water. "Fine. Just fine, thanks".

Honestly, I am not fine. Jimmy got sick at school and vomited all over his teacher and because I had to go get him from school, I missed my deadline. I had to deal with the death stare of Miss Mildfart, the grade 5 teacher who looked more mentally unstable than usual. And I had to deal with the verbal death threats of a boss who could probably fire me for insubordinate behaviour as I ran out of the office without explanation to save my child from a psychotic teacher who might've been pushed over the edge by... And then I was almost pushed over the edge by...

The water is boiling and I add the pasta. Better get the sauce going. Sauce. I am reminded of the nastiness I had to deal with in my car...  I fend off the nauseating thoughts because there is no time to dwell on the past right now.

"You're not fine." He says, matter of fact, "you look exhausted. Rough day, right?!"

Yeah, right. What an understatement.

"How about going out Friday night?" He continues, "do something different. No cooking. Dinner at a restaurant. Just us, chatting and chilling. Brett told me about a new place that has incredible food. Lets go try it out. Can you ask your mom to look after the kids? I think that will do you – do us – the world of good. Some time out to just chill with my babe, what do you think?"

Okay.

But, here's the thing: What exactly does 'no cooking' mean? I can't just let the kids (and my mom) go hungry. And dinner at a place Brett recommended? No thanks. He loves his food greasy and meaty. The more meat, the better. That is far from the fine dining I want to enjoy.

Sigh.

Why is it that men have realized they can trust technology for directions but when it comes to choosing a restaurant, it has gotta be their best bud's advice...what about having a look at some google reviews. There's plenty of websites that cover food far better than Brett and his romance with steaks.

And asking my mom... totally out of the question. We haven't spoken since our fallout two weeks ago. She is avoiding me. Besides, why should I always be the one to organise a baby sitter? It's the hardest part of the whole damn date night experience. You try asking for once. But no, all you need to do is pitch up and pay up. Easy. Try pleading and then having to spend hours preparing for the babysitter. And preparing the kids too! It's like having to organise a date, to go on a date.

And then, somewhere, in-between, I still have to find the time to dress myself and look killer spectacular. Which reminds me, what will I wear? I don't have anything to wear. Sure, I do have a wardrobe full of clothes but if we're going to go somewhere fancy... well, I don't think I have something that fits the category. Really.

He wraps his arms around me and whispers, "So, what do you think?"

I can't seem to recall what I was thinking.

“Sure, that sounds wonderful.”

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This is the date night dilemma: I desperately want to go out, ALONE, with my husband but it takes so much effort to make it happen. *argh!*

A great marriage does not come about by chance or through 'auto-pilot'. I need to work at it. I need to work at it alone, by keeping my heart kind toward my husband. But also, we need to make the effort, together. There are plenty of normal routine times where we get to do things together - like talk about the kids' schedules or about tomorrow's lunch boxes...meh.

It really is important to take time out where the focus is all about two people, in love, enjoying each other. A commitment of time, money and effort says "you are important" more than words ever could. And when paired with words.... magic!

The value of taking time to connect cannot be understated. Date nights are a must. Call it a date moment or a moment alone together or whatever, the point is, it is important to schedule a time in our busy routines where we prioritize and plan special out-of-the-ordinary moments together. Not only does it provide us with delightful, enchanting memories but it also breaks us out of the dull 'familiarity friend zone' or sometimes worse, the 'phantom zone' (I'm sure you know what I mean). 

There is nothing more desirable than enjoying life with the one we love. Not just doing life together, but enjoying it too. 

So, go ahead, make the date! What is better? A marriage that is 'updated' or 'outdated'? Excuse the wordplay  *wink*

I want mine to be updated, regularly.

A weekend in Paris, perhaps...

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*Please note, the story is fiction. All characters are fictional. I do not have a son called Jimmy. My kids have amazing wonderful teachers and not one is called Miss Mildfart and my mom is very dear to me. And just to be clear: the story is a fun take on real life, with the emphasis that having a date night takes planning and effort, regardless of who is doing it. But yes, when my Mister Handsome wraps his arms around me, I tend to forget a lot of things.