Tips for Expectant Moms

I have this fantastic friend. She is sweet, funny and incredibly smart. Three years ago, she and her husband relocated to Canada to support a church plant. That church, ENJOY LIFE CHURCH (ELC), in Edmonton, has grown from two or three families meeting in a living room to recently having bought their own building for hundreds! #Godbetheglory

I have previously posted about them becoming pastors at ELC and we were fortunate to witness this celebratory event. God has decided to grow them, not only into a spiritual father & mother, but also to bless them with a little boy. Micah was born this year and already has won the hearts across the globe. My awesome friend has become a mom!!

Russell & Helen Seaborne. See what she muses about at: https://helenseaborne.wordpress.com/

She loves to write and herewith some of her tips on being prepared for giving birth:

Before I forget – some tips for expectant moms

Four weeks ago I gave birth to our baby boy and thanks to all my friends around me who offered much advice I did not feel totally unprepared. So I decided to write a post on some of the helpful tips I picked up along the way so that other expectant mothers could also benefit from such wisdom passed down to me by others.

3rd trimester – lead up to the big day

I had a relatively uneventful pregnancy and I only really got uncomfortable in the last ten weeks. Having a desk job was not as easy as one might imagine as your body prepares for the arrival of this bundle of joy. So I found an exercise ball helped with many aches and pains. I enjoyed sitting on an exercise ball so much I even took one to work. The ball helped relieve the back aches that came as the baby gained much weight in the last few weeks. If you don’t have one, I would highly recommend it. It is worth every penny as I used it in the delivery room and now I bounce on it to sooth my son so it is really multi-purpose and extremely useful.

Russell and I attended a 5 week prenatal course which I thought would be such a waste of time – I mean how much could one learn about having a baby? Turns out, a lot, I mean A LOT! From learning about pain management options to high risk deliveries to breastfeeding and infant care. Making informed decisions during deliveries might be the best thing for you and your baby. And having your spouse with you during these classes also helps manage their expectations of what and how it will all go down.

Delivery preparation

Ok this is not a usual blog post, it’s about to get real so for those who have no interest in the labour and delivery process I suggest you skip this section or the rest of the blog.

I wasn’t sure if i could give vaginal birth until I was 36 weeks as Micah was breech up to that point. So my preparation was mainly in the last four weeks. Upon a friend’s recommendation, I looked into perineal massage. It is a massage technique to help relax your muscles and prevent tearing during childbirth. Yes tearing happens quite often during labour and the need for perineal massage is often found after the fact. So I took my friend’s advice and massaged my perineum during bath time. It is awkward and not as easy to do as the picture depicts, but if you want to go natural the whole way it is well worth the research.

During the prenatal classes, the labour and delivery nurse told us that if we want to have a natural birth we need to have a plan on how to manage pain. If you don’t want the help of drugs, then you have to find a way to handle it because labour pain is no joke and it could last hours. So research relaxation techniques and get your body acquainted with what to do before you go into labour. There is no winging it in the delivery room, you need to know what to do!

ELC moms and babies! How cute! [Moms room pictures]

The big day – giving birth

You have waited 9months and you could be like me and be woken up by the consistent pain in early labour. In the beginning it was just like period cramps which can be handled by most of us. And when it gets intense it could feel like someone is trying to rip your guts out. There is no comfortable position by then. Labour progressed extremely quickly for me and the pain completely overtook me. I was nauseous, shivering profusely and felt extremely emotional, I felt like I could not even manage to lift a finger during contractions. There are many ways to manage pain and that’s when the knowledge from the prenatal classes would help. When the pain literally brought me to my hands and knees that’s when I knew I wanted that epidural. There is a window where epidural could be given – usually between 4-8cm dilation. For some this window could be quick, in my case it was less than two hours and for others this could be way longer. So if you want an epidural speak up! The epidural saved me, not only because I could rest after two intense hours but more because my baby needed assistance during delivery through the use of forceps. Upon seeing his heart rate not recovering between pushes, the medical staff could act quickly with the epidural in place. And of course it helped not feeling pain as I watched them put the forceps into me, which very much resembled a pair of salad servers. I thought that the pain would be pretty bad when the epidural wore off but it wasn’t that bad at all.

With Geoff & Jane Kirsten who are pastors at 3Ci. Jane is a mom of two cuties and she is an incredible worship leader

Postpartum care

After labour, your body takes a while to recover and in the beginning it surely feel like you’re having the biggest period of your life. You would need some supplies at home to help you cope with that.

Two weeks before my due date I went to the store and bought the most absorbent and biggest pads I could find. Besides the obvious need for sanitary pads, the thickness of the pads also serve as a cushion to your very tender parts. As you will need to wear these ginormous pads, you would probably need some underwear that could accommodate them. I found boycuts to be extremely comfortable and did very well in holding the pads in place.

Super heroes :-) Dad, Russell with Micah

You thought you were waddling during pregnancy, think again, I felt like I waddled even more after delivery than before. The pressure from the wounds will linger for a while and it will feel like you are still giving birth. To help with the swelling and pain, you could also buy some cheap pads, soak them in water and freeze them to use occasionally in the first week(s) after labour, the coldness brings quite a bit of relief and it will help bring down your swelling. Simply put a frozen pad on top of a non frozen one in your panty, wear it and remove once thawed.

In Canada, after you have given birth the hospital provides you with a peri bottle to help you urinate. Not sure what happens with other countries but that bottle saved my life! It is a soft plastic bottle that you fill with warm water to squirt towards your perineum while you pee so that the urine will not linger on your tender parts and decrease the sting. Peeing after a delivery is challenging and the bottle helped me a lot so find one!

If you are planning to breast feed, showering might prove to be a little challenging. As the water hits your raw nipples, it could be quite painful so I would suggest bathing. Add epsom salt to your bath to help decrease chances of infections during your recovery.

Absolutely gorgeous! 

Breastfeeding

If giving birth was the 100 meter dash, then breastfeeding must be like the half marathon. For nine months, you have prepared for the delivery of your child but you have to be prepared for what lies ahead beyond that finish line. I was never breast fed as a baby so I had no bias towards it but thanks to all my friends around, I was not completely clueless. I have heard many people say that breastfeeding is hard and it is not as natural as one think so I wanted to be as prepared as I can be. One night, about four weeks before my due date, I sat and watched breastfeeding videos on Youtube for about two straight hours. There are some really good material out there and it helped me understand a little more of what to expect from latching to different breast feeding positions to manual expression of milk. One of the most important thing I learn is that I needed to get him to latch well right from the beginning to help with what lies ahead.

If you are struggling from the beginning, find help right away with a lactation specialist, suffering in silent will not help improve the situation. If feeding your baby is super painful you will want to do whatever you can to rectify the situation, because feeding the baby about eight times a day will not help. I am grateful that Micah had a pretty good latch right from the hospital and the nurses all seemed to have been happy with him. Also be sure to learn how to help your baby unlatch, use your pinky to break the seal before you pull their mouths away from your nipple otherwise you could suffer some painful consequences.

With love, from Canada

Between two to three days after delivery, your milk will come in. And this is one big surprise for most new mothers. Your boobs will fill up and it’ll be like you had a boob job within hours. When my milk came in, the boobs didn’t just feel big but also super hard and heavy, the hard boobs make latching a lot harder so I would try massage my boobs a little before every feed. Heat is also another way to help, wet a cloth with hot water or heat a gel pad and put it on your boobs to relief some pressure. I remember just walking around topless at home because it was just so uncomfortable.

The good thing about your milk coming in is that you could now use the milk to help your nipples heal. After every feed, manually express some milk to put on your nipples, air-dry and then apply Lanolin cream. This routine is so important in helping your nipples heal, don’t forget to do it.

A nurse told me in the beginning that it is up to our baby to feed but it is up to us to keep them interested. One would not want to have the baby suckling for an hour without actually drinking enough. Micah would never stay awake enough for me to switch boob so I have been feeding him from one boob at each feed. During feeds I find that he tends to fall asleep between the 15-20 minute mark so I try to make sure that he drinks actively during that time by touching his face and tickling his cheeks. This routine gave my nipples extra time to heal as I would only feed with the same boob every second time. At first I was quite worried about his growth but he has gained over two pounds (about a kilogram) in the last month so I think one boob is quite enough.

In the beginning it is really hard to establish some kind of a schedule for feeding but I find that once I had established some kind of schedule, Micah adapted well to feeding every 2.5-3 hours. Of course, every child is different and every mom’s milk supply also differ so do what works for you. My boobs started developing some veins during pregnancy and it is almost like a road map for my milk ducts and every mom will experience it differently.

If you could afford a breast pump, I would suggest you buy one, as pumping will help relief the pressure when your milk initially comes in. I have both an electric breast pump and a hand pump and both have its merits, most of my friends find that the hand pumps are more efficient but I also find that my hands get tired from the pumping action so I would alternate the use of both pumps. Bear in mind that pumping is a new thing, it will be slow and it could take some time so be patient. Try and massage a little before you pump as it is quite difficult to pump from rock hard boobs. Massaging will also help with getting milk out of all your milk ducts, if some milk ducts get clogged, you are prone to getting an infection. When you feel that your boobs are sore in certain areas and you find your temperature running a little high –  massage them while feeding or pumping to try and soften the ducts and don’t stop breast feeding.

Breastfeeding is a messy business. Your boobs will leak at all hours of the day so have some cloths around during feeds and buy some breast pads. I opted for the reusable breast pads as it is completely made of cloth and it doesn’t stick to you as much as the disposable ones. It is very essential to have some otherwise you will be soaking through your clothes in no time. And I also find the extra thick breast pads helped with the chaffing from clothes, I like the Avent brand ones a lot. And yes buy some nursing tops and those criss-cross nursing bras for sleeping.

Wow, this has turned into quite an essay. If you have made it to the end, thanks for reading! Drop me a message if you have any questions :) https://helenseaborne.wordpress.com/

"Motherhood= becoming the one-armed champion at everything"  Helen Seaborne